That's right I'm back and this time im doin things a little different. Im 19 and i work two jobs, one of which i hate but then again thats why its a job and not a career. I don't always do things the way they are supposed to be done and i dont speak or type proper english but then again i dont really care. I speak my mind and a lot of the time it can get me into trouble but whats the point of living life by just going through the motions. Life is meant to be lived so thats what i do. Yes I smoke pot and yes i smoke cigarettes but that is my choice and if you dnt like it then either stop reading or get over it. I can quit anytime i want and i have before but honestly i dnt want to. I used to smoke to escape my life and go to a place where everything was happy and all i had to do was be in the moment and laugh, now for the most part its just for fun. I dont need to escape anymore because i have been trying to do it for so long that ive learned some things. No matter how far you run or how high you get everything is still gonna be there when u come back. Running away doesnt solve any problems it usually causes more, u hurt more people and lose urself in the process. The last 3 years of my life have been full of ups and downs and a lot has changed especially inside me. I have grown up and seen the uglier side of life. I have seen how people can hurt you, how they can change, and how the ugly side of people can come out and try to bring you down. But I have also seen the beautiful side of life full of love and friendship and things that i thought only existed in fairy tales. Its crazy how people can go through life so blind and missing the important things, but when you open ur eyes and i mean really open ur eyes and see what is all around you there are so many things to be happy about and to be thankful for. Ive said it idk how many times and ik there are other people who say it too, "I hate my life", "Why does everything have to be so hard" well the answer ive figured out is simple, its not that i actually hate my life but learning to love the life that you have and realizing that if u dnt have to work for something or fight for it you usually dont want it that bad. Then when you actually get it or realize that you are happy with everything you already have everything just falls into place and makes sense. I don't want to sound older than my age but these are the things that i think about. Out of the millions of thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis its these ones that stick out to me, the what ifs in life are really the unthoughtof magic moments. Where would my life be if i would have married him, or stayed living there, if that person hadnt stabbed me in the back, or if with everything that happened i didnt change or learn anything. In case ur wondering no im not high right now and thats not why im saying all this, i just simply had some thoughts and instead of keeping them to myself I wanted to share them with anyone who took the time to read them. Because if I can share what i know or some of the things i think about and have someone learn something about themself or realize that everything will be ok or work out in the end even if it doesn't feel like it. Thats all the useless knowledge i have for now but dnt worry there will be more to come.
CasperTheGhost
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