One Special Feeling

You know what feeling I love, feeling the weight of someone elses body against yours, or the feeling of someone elses skin against yours. When ur laying in a bed next to someone and they lay part of there body on you and you feel the heat from there skin and the weight of their body on you its an amazing type of sensation to me. Its like for that moment you are safe and all the bad things in the world cant touch you and you know you are as close as you can get to the other person. Its also an amazing feel when they lay on top of you and you feel there whole body touching yours like they are shielding you from everything, they are blocking out the bad and there is just you and them. Its one of the best feelings I can describe. If you havent experienced dont worry you will one day and you will enjoy the feeling even more than you do when you fantasize it. And if you have had this experience remember it and cherish it because who knows when the next time youre going to experience it is or if that person is going to be there to cuddle with tomorrow. Enjoy every moment, cherish every minute, and remember everything that makes you happy.
Peace Out
CasperTheGhost

Past and Present Collide

A couple months ago i was living at a house with 5 other ppl that had become my family, moving out was one of the weirdest experiences i have ever had. It was like my whole life changed, going from a house with so many people and so much going on all the time to a house with only a few people where nothing happens was a big change. But it was for the better, my life has settled back into its normal and things are going great. I met a great guy and things are going well i have a good job and im around my family. Yesterday was a good day because it was like my two lives collided into each other. I went and saw my 2nd family, going back to the house felt so good, i felt so welcome and loved seeing my old family. Just being around them made me feel really happy and in a way it was really refreshing to see them. Then getting a phone call from my guy made it even better, i had both my worlds and it was like for that moment in time everything was really ok nothing mattered anymore, problems and bills, all the bad things disappeared. Its weird how when things are going so bad you feel like they are never going to be good again but then time goes forward and life keeps on moving and one day everything really does get better and life really does move on. There is that saying life is not about worrying about the thunderstorms but learning to dance in the rain. I believe that we all have to learn to dance in the rain no matter how scary it is. Parts of myself are coming back that i thought had died a long time ago, and i can't wait to see where my life goes. I do know one thing tho i will enjoy my life everyday of it because who knows whats going to happen tomorrow...
Peace CasperTheGhost

Now That Was One Good Ass Party

Holy shit are the only words i have to say about last night. I went to the God Smack and Shinedown concert last night at the Soaring Eagle Casino and holy shit it was awesome. I was with some dope ass people and we drank, gambled, saw one good as concert, gambled some more and drank until 6 in the morning. Not only that but we got up at 9 something to check out of the hotel by 11. I can't believe the crazy experience i had it was so much fun. I ended up winning 227 bucks. Hell yeah!! Everyone was down to drink and have fun and drink until we ran out lol. It was my first concert and my first experience gambling and i LOVED it. Good music, good drinks, and good people all equals one good ass time. More later right now i need to get some sleep.

Peace Out CasperTheGhost

Truth Hurts and Lies Heal

Its true that people hate being lied to but how many times have you been told the truth about something and had it make you feel good. Some lies are worse than others thats true but our society and our lives are all based on lies. Think about how many times in a day you lie to someone, whether its a little white lie or a big one. You lie to a person to save their feelings even tho we know that when they found out that we lied it will just hurt them more. But yet we still do it because we dont really want to hurt that person you want to save them the pain from knowing the truth. Think about it, in a relationship say one person cheats they lie about it because they know when they tell truth it will hurt the other person and they might lose them, but if they tell them a lie they dont get hurt they just keep going. We all do it everyday, we lie to someone to save their feelings because what it all comes down to is that the truth hurts and lies heal. Ive had experiences with this myself, after i got out of a relationship because the other person just needed some time all my friends told me that he would be back. Now really they could have believed that but the reason they told me was because they knew it would make me feel better because if they would have told me the truth that no he isnt coming back it would have mad me even more sad. I don't blame anyone they were just trying to protect me because they love me but how much did they really protect me? Eventually I realized that they were wrong and that the little voice in my head was right, he wasnt coming back. And as much as i was hurting before how much pain did it really save me by them lying to me cause after realizing the truth not only do you have to deal with the pain of it but now its almost worse because you spent that time holding on and hoping that they would come back and all at once it hits you that hes not and that you should have known from the beginning. Then you feel stupid for wasting that time on missing them and keeping ur hopes up of you being together again. We lie to protect the ones we love from the pain that the truth may cause. This is something that I believe will never change because unless you are evil at heart nobody really wants to hurt another person.
Peace CasperTheGhost

Movin On and Movin Up

What a crazy week I ended up working 54 hours this week, yeah buddy gettin that monayyy. But on a different note girls you know how when you start a job how there is always (well normally) one hot guy there that you just like to look at and daydream about, well i have one where i work. Now sometimes ur hot guy may notice you and sometimes he may not but in my case, which is normally a he doesnt, well he did and not only did he give me his number but he asked me out. :) Im so excited haha. But it all got me thinking about past relationships, about moving on and letting go. How long do you stay mad at the other person or hold a grudge against them when they hurt you? The truth is I really dont know but what i do know is that it takes so much energy and so much of urself to stay mad at someone and hold a grudge for that long. And as long as ur holding onto that anger ur holding onto a part of them. Letting go doesnt happen over night and its not always easy but its something you have to do. If ur not with that person anymore its not worth ur time and energy to stay mad at them and to hate them. Im not saying you have to forget that person or the times you had together but dont dwell on them and dont get sad when u think about them. Just remember and laugh about it if it was funny or remember how much love you had for that person at the time and then let it go. Let it slip ur mind and go on with ur day making new memories and new laughs with someone who loves you enough to stick around. Because one thing i do know is that if a person doesn't love you or care about you enough to be there or to stick around then they dont deserve you and they dont deserve to take anymore of ur love or ur energy. Moving on and finally letting go of something like that from the past feels so good its like a magical experience, one day you just realize that its not worth it anymore and that u are def better off and everything changes for the better. You start to care about urself more, have a smile on ur face more and realize what it feels like to really laugh again. The feeling is so hard to describe its like feeling like ur floating on air ur so light and happy.
Peace, CasperTheGhost

I'm Back With a Vengeance

That's right I'm back and this time im doin things a little different. Im 19 and i work two jobs, one of which i hate but then again thats why its a job and not a career. I don't always do things the way they are supposed to be done and i dont speak or type proper english but then again i dont really care. I speak my mind and a lot of the time it can get me into trouble but whats the point of living life by just going through the motions. Life is meant to be lived so thats what i do. Yes I smoke pot and yes i smoke cigarettes but that is my choice and if you dnt like it then either stop reading or get over it. I can quit anytime i want and i have before but honestly i dnt want to. I used to smoke to escape my life and go to a place where everything was happy and all i had to do was be in the moment and laugh, now for the most part its just for fun. I dont need to escape anymore because i have been trying to do it for so long that ive learned some things. No matter how far you run or how high you get everything is still gonna be there when u come back. Running away doesnt solve any problems it usually causes more, u hurt more people and lose urself in the process. The last 3 years of my life have been full of ups and downs and a lot has changed especially inside me. I have grown up and seen the uglier side of life. I have seen how people can hurt you, how they can change, and how the ugly side of people can come out and try to bring you down. But I have also seen the beautiful side of life full of love and friendship and things that i thought only existed in fairy tales. Its crazy how people can go through life so blind and missing the important things, but when you open ur eyes and i mean really open ur eyes and see what is all around you there are so many things to be happy about and to be thankful for. Ive said it idk how many times and ik there are other people who say it too, "I hate my life", "Why does everything have to be so hard" well the answer ive figured out is simple, its not that i actually hate my life but learning to love the life that you have and realizing that if u dnt have to work for something or fight for it you  usually dont want it that bad. Then when you actually get it or realize that you are happy with everything you already have everything just falls into place and makes sense. I don't want to sound older than my age but these are the things that i think about. Out of the millions of thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis its these ones that stick out to me, the what ifs in life are really the unthoughtof magic moments. Where would my life be if i would have married him, or stayed living there, if that person hadnt stabbed me in the back, or if with everything that happened i didnt change or learn anything. In case ur wondering no im not high right now and thats not why im saying all this, i just simply had some thoughts and instead of keeping them to myself I wanted to share them with anyone who took the time to read them. Because if I can share what i know or some of the things i think about and have someone learn something about themself or realize that everything will be ok or work out in the end even if it doesn't feel like it. Thats all the useless knowledge i have for now but dnt worry there will be more to come.
CasperTheGhost